Why Try if I Can Never Be Perfect

 Why even try if I can never be perfect?

I sighed as I saw the girls laughing together. “You’re totally going to get the lead, Mia! You’re so pretty, smart, perfect, and talented!” All of her minions laughed in perfect unison. They were the most popular girls in school. I walked up beside Mia and began to pull out a pen. I signed my name on the auditions sheet, right under Mia’s. As soon as I started to put the cap back on my pen, I felt all eyes staring at me.

“Why is Ava here?” One of Mia’s minions stared at me with a stupid face.

“What makes you think YOU could get the part? You’re so awkward on stage, whereas I would be perfect for the part.” said Mia, smirking.

You know what, I was done taking Mia’s crappy behavior, “Look, Mia. I may not have the perfect looks, the perfect life, the perfect grades–”

She cut me off, “You’re right, you don’t!” Then she turned around with her posse, her beautiful black locks slapping me in the face, and she walked away. Her minions choked with laughter.

As soon as she left the classroom, I felt a huge lump in my throat, screaming to get out. I couldn’t breathe, I sank to the floor and cried my heart out.  Everything I had said to her was right. I had been so stupid. Taking a huge gulp of air, I sat there quietly, on the floor in a dark classroom.

When I got home, I quickly went to my room and flung myself onto my bed. Mia was right, I wouldn’t stand a chance against her. Everywhere there was a chance I could shine, Mia would walk over, sign up, and be PERFECT! It was so irritating. I’m still convinced she is an alien sent from space slathered in lipgloss and tons of makeup to cover up her ugly face. It’s a work in progress. Now, I had to audition and obviously lose the lead to Mia. Why couldn’t I be her? It was so frustrating to think about all of this. 

As I was walking to school the next day, I saw Mia with a smug grin on her face. She walked towards me, and I sensed trouble. 

“Hello, Mia,” I said dryly.

“Oh, hello! I’m so glad you dropped out of the show. It would’ve broken your heart more since even if you did try, you would lose TO ME!” Mia gave me a pathetic smile.  

“Wow. Gee thanks! Extremely helpful advice.” I stared at her nonchalantly. I didn’t care what she had to say to me.

She looked at me and smiled. “You know. I’m glad I’ve talked some sense into you and put you in your place.I’ve been watching you and I think you would be perfect for my posse. You would fit right in with the other girls, but we definitely have a LOT to work with.”

I stared at her. As much as I hated Mia, I wanted to be her, or somewhere near her. I couldn’t tell if this was a joke or not. My mind was racing through her choices. I didn’t think for a minute before I said YES. She grinned and told me to meet her at her house so I could meet her minions (that’s just what I call them) and figure out what I need to do to be a member of her group.

“Be there at 6, no later. I don’t like late-comers.” She told me sternly.

That day, I showed up to her house and IT WAS SOO BIG! Her house was decked with practical GOLD WALLS! She had this fancy chandelier and a big staircase that led to a HUMONGOUS second floor. As I walked into her room, all of her minions stopped chattering and Mia stared at me with her beady eyes.

“Like the house?”

“It’s beautiful.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Mia pulled out a pen and a notebook and started to ask me a couple questions. She told me a couple things I needed to do and added me to all the group chats. She also made all her minions state their names so they could get to know me. 

As she sipped her coffee, she said, “Honey. You are far from perfect. But I can work with…whatever this is. You just need to remember I’m the best. You are not GOOD ENOUGH. I have all this power and YOU DON’T. I am generous though. I am kind enough to take you into my exclusive group and make you popular and confident. You wouldn’t stand a chance against me, so why try? Do you understand?”

I swallowed hard. Every word she said hurt, but it was true. She was helping me and was generous enough to even offer. “I understand.”

She smiled and clapped her hands. “Perfect!”

I went home with this gigantic smile on my face. I was finally going to hang around the popular girls who I hated, but wanted to be. It was going to be perfect. Now, I didn’t have to worry about these imperfect and dorky quirks about me. I could finally do everything I wanted to and be everything I wanted to BE! I didn’t have to get overshadowed anymore. I could be my own person and LOVE IT!

Mia and her posse walked over to my house and we all went to school together. Mia had accepted me into the group after I tried SO HARD to fit in! It was great, til it wasn’t. Mia started talking trash about everyone else and I don’t know how everyone else was able to stand it (maybe because they’ve heard so much), but it made my blood boil. What if this is how she talked about me before I joined the group?

“Hello! Hello! AVA!” Mia stared at me with disgust. I quickly snapped out of my trance and said, “Oh! Oh…sorry Mia. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“I don’t like people who ignore me!” She snapped and walked away to talk to another girl. I rolled my eyes when she couldn’t see me and I kept walking. 

During lunch, we were all walking to the cafeteria when I saw the auditions sheet out of the corner of my eye. Before, I had scratched my name off. Now, I eagerly grabbed out a pen and signed it. I was finally confident that I would be fit for the role. Before I could even start writing “A”, Mia snatched the pen from my hands and stared at me in shock. “What the HECK are you doing?!”

“Ummm…signing my name?” I stared at her. I was confused and scared. Why did she do that?

“OMG! I didn’t think you were that dumb! I TOLD YOU! Why try?! You can NEVER be better than me!” Her face was red with anger.

“What do you mean by that? I finally have the perfect grades, the friends, I’m popular, I look better, I FEEL better. What’s your problem with that?!” I was SO ANGRY.

“You’re not better than me! SO STOP TRYNA ACT LIKE IT!” Mia walked away as I stood there in shock.

If she said that to me before, I would’ve cried. Now, I felt this anger. I had to prove to her that I could do something right. I finally understood, I was never going to be perfect. I physically couldn’t. I wasn’t going to let Mia pull me down anymore! I signed up and worked my hardest until auditions.

Then, the big day came! Mia sat there biting her lip as I walked in with a smile. I had taken so much extra time to look more presentable, and I felt it too.

“Hey Mia,” I said as I sat down next to her.

She shot up, glaring at me. “Shut up, Ava! I still don’t know why you’re here.”

“Allow me to clarify for you in an easier way so you can understand.” I shot her a funny grin. “I wanted to act and audition for the lead. So, here I am.”

She huffed a sigh and walked away. Soon, people started auditioning and whenever the lady came out to call someone in my heart sank to my stomach. This happened so much that I could barely breathe. 

“And the LAST person auditioning for the LEAD is Ava Winters!” the lady read off her chart. As I stood up, I felt dizzy. My heart was beating out of my chest. I walked into the room and gave it my all!

“NO! Don’t take this away from me! I might not be as good as you, I AM SO MUCH MORE!” I roared out and bowed. People looked amazed and started clapping.

Being the lead was awesome! I loved the rehearsals and the community. When Mia saw my name as the lead and her as ensemble, she flipped out and dropped out of the play. She ran away crying, and people started laughing. I felt bad for her, but I also thought she needed that taste of her own medicine.

As I was in the dressing room reapplying my make up and rehearsing my lines for Act 2, Mia walked in. “You look beautiful!” she smiled.

“Thank you!” I replied, she was being nice….weird.

“And I’m so so sorry that I treated you this way. That I treated ANYONE this way.” she started crying.

“Hey! It’s okay. I forgive you. I’m just glad you learned your lesson.” I tried comforting her.

She wiped up her tears, “Thank you so much. Oh! You better go! Act 2 is starting!”

I walked onto stage and danced, sang, cried, laughed, and so much more. It was nice. I saw Mia in the front row cheering as loud as she could after the show ended. After the show, I felt this internal peace deep down. I changed my perspective of things completely. Instead of “Why try if I can never be perfect?” it became, “Why not?”.